Some failed status on facebook:

A: Hey man, can I buy some of that weed off of you?
B: Dude, shutup, everyone can read this.
A: Oh shit, for real? My bad.
A: So can I get some herb or not?

Is he dumb or is he dumb? It's plain obvious that he's referring to weed.

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A: Only in LA would you see a homeless man lying shirtless on the side of the road sunning himself, not even on the curb. Literally ON the road!
B: Only in LA would someone see an injured/distressed homeless man lying shirtless on the side of the road and think "oh, he must be working on his tan".
C: LOL.
A: wow.

BIMBO.

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A: What does IDK mean?
B: I don't know.
A: ...Ugh! No one knows!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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A: Why is the xbox 360 called xbox 360? Because when you see it, you turn 360 degrees around and walk away.
B: *facepalm*
A: ?
C: That's 180 degrees.
A: No it isn't. Are you dumb?
C: If you spin 360 you'll be looking at it again.
D: You'd be walking towards it.
A: No you wouldn't.

I'm speechless.

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A: Just finished eating a raw chicken breast, no sweat. Looks like someone owes me $20.
B: You're gonna die dude, salmonella for sure.
A: I ate chicken, not salmon, dude.